First off: Go read the lumpy sweater post titled “Weird People Radar: I can haz it?”
Okay? Done? This was meant to be a comment on that post, but is way too long and epic for that. So, my weird people experience.
Like most of her stories, it begins with in a library. I’ve got myself huddled up in the corner that has the best wireless connection, with a laptop and textbook open in front of me, headphones on. Cue weird person.
Weird Person = Random little asian guy in the electrical program at my college that I’ve never seen before in my life. Well, I’ve probably seen him, but never registered him in my people-index. As far as I’m concerned, he began to exist in that moment. What moment?
The moment he settled in to the chair across the table from me, of course. And sat there staring for a good 5 minutes. Creepy, yes? Eventually, I notice his mouth moving, and politely take off the headphones. I get the kinda strange introduction: “Hi, my name is ___, but my friends call me ___.” Both names that I totally can’t pronounce. I smile politely and pointedly go back to my laptop screen. A few minutes pass. He then tells me that he is in the electrical program. I smile politely and go back to my laptop screen. He asks what I’m doing, I say “I’m writing an essay that is due about an hour”, give a slight grimace that could be taken as a polite smile and start fondling my headphones, which are still playing because I was hoping to get back to them quickly. He then comments on the fact that a friend of his in the electrical program says I’m quite nice. I’m getting a little annoyed because I’m not a people-person and really dislike not being the one to initiate conversations. Plus, I don’t know anyone in the electrical program. However, I’ve also got this innate need to at least be sorta polite, so I again point out that I have an essay due in an hour and really don’t have time to chat. He sits staring for a few minutes, mentions that I’m pretty, then his half-hour lunch ends and he goes to class.
Later: He shows up and sorta barges his way into the little knot of people I’m hanging out with in the hallway. Asks if I want to go get lunch with him. I politely decline, saying that my boyfriend and I have plans, actually. He sorta wanders away. This sort of thing continues on for about a week–him showing up and asking if I want to do something, me responding with an excuse usually centered around the fact that I have a boyfriend. Eventually, I figure, he must understand by now that I’m totally not interested in him and since he can’t be that much of an idiot and I forgot my lunch, I went with him to subway. Awkward lack of talking, ’cause he doesn’t talk and I eventually head off to workout with a friend.
I get a phone call at home from him asking if I want to go walk his dog with him. I glance outside, notice it’s pouring and say quite unkindly that I wouldn’t go walk my boyfriend’s dog in this weather, let alone some random guy who’s following me around. Then, I clue in and ask how he got my number. Turns out his big brother was my tailor.
Creepy? Very. I haven’t had an article of clothing tailored since. I also spent most of the next month or so refusing to go out in public without being thoroughly latched onto my over-6-foot-tall boyfriend.
Other weird people? The random 14 year old kid in CHOP who is infatuated with me and calls me the Sound Ninja. Crazy cat lady who would only come through my till when I worked at Overwaitea. Countless people on buses who like to give me their life stories. I think weird people take glazed-over looks as encouragement.